No matter how hard I try, I seem to keep picking the cream of the crop when it comes to boys. When I say cream of the crop, I mean douchebags. I always seem to like and attract assholes. What can I do to stop this trend? I’m sick of being infatuated with a handsome guy who I think is Prince Charming on a white horse, when he’s really a loser in tin foil?
Dear Douchebag Magnet,
I know this story all too well. EVERY girl (and guy) goes through this. The sad part of this is that, most, but NOT ALL, guys are extremely immature. They don’t care about anything else but having sex. It’s all in their nature, they have higher testosterone, higher sex drive and their brain develops slower than a female’s. How can you stop this trend, you ask? You can’t really. You have to kiss a shit-ton of frogs before you find your prince, and once you find him, all those other guys will disappear out of your mind. The main thing you can do is move on, and say a big FUCK YOU to all the douchebags because you don’t deserve a little boy who likes to play games. You need a man who will support you, help you grow and appreciate you for who you are, not what you look like, and what he think he can get out of you at the end of the night. I hate using cliche’ quotes, but keep your head, heels and standards high. Be a bitch if you have to be. You don’t need a man to make you happy. Get a degree, or two, or maybe even three. Live for yourself and the right guy will fall right into place. Be young, live your life! Shit, kiss a few of those frogs, but never sell your soul, or break down into a hot mess over a guy who is a fucking loser, but know that crying is definitely okay if it helps you feel better, although no guy EVER deserves your tears. Guys realize when it’s too late when they had a good girl, so you are better off without that. Don’t ever settle with less than what you deserve because you are tired of being single. Be happy and do what makes you happy.
I’m currently dealing with a broken heart. I thought the guy I was dating was the most amazing person I have met on this earth. It turns out he was lying about everything and he basically just left me hanging in the dust. How do I deal with getting over this pain, and getting some closure from someone who can’t give it to me?
Broken hearts suck. Trust me, I know. All I have to say is it takes time and patience. Everything will be confusing at first, especially if you are a dealing with a guy who can’t give you answers. Unfortunately, guys cannot communicate the way girls do. They tend to run away from situations such as this because it makes them uncomfortable. Although it takes time, you absolutely have to move on without the answers and just simply know that it wasn’t meant to be. Sure, maybe the guy was super gorgeous, gave you those crazy butterflies, or made you smile every time you thought about him. But, there is plenty of guys out there that will do that and even more. You have to be patient. I know personally waiting for an answer is the most grueling process but sometimes they either don’t have it or they don’t care. I learned in a class this semester about something called “the principle of lesser interest.” The person in a relationship who cares less, has more power. The guy in the equation seems like he couldn’t care about you whatsoever, therefore, he has power over you by driving you crazy. He probably enjoys the ego rubbing and the attention he’s getting. Don’t give him that attention, let it go, and move on to someone better. The little boy you are dealing with will get his in the end. Make sure to smile, and hold your head high. Time heals all pain, and I’m sure you will see sunnier days.
Have a burning question? Dying for some advice? Just need some clarity? Just need to vent? Feel free to submit a question to Gelly’s Gems of Advice. Email email@example.com and your question may be answered! Gelly’s Gems appear bi-weekly on Bound magazines official website bound.unm.edu.